Fear not.

I've always been good at having good ideas. Often those good ideas develop into plans-- I draw a sketch, write a journal entry, jot it down on a calender. But then... nothing. The plans never take any sort of physical form. I always scolded myself for this, writing myself off as unmotivated, or just plain lazy! Other times I'd blame it on the depression with which I have struggled for a number of years. But the truth is, it's fear. It's all the negative "what if's" that surface right before that leap of faith. What if it doesn't work out? What if no one likes it? What if I fail?
The problems with living this way is that you are always disappointed in yourself, you become painfully indecisive, and you spend your life waiting for the day you become brave-- the day you finally let go of the fear!
I'm not going to make some cheesy statement here like "Today is that day!" and hold my fist up as I charge through a bunch of men in kilts yelling "FREEDOM!" ...rabbit trail... sorry.
Instead I want to remind myself and anyone reading who struggles with fear, that love is bigger than fear. In fact this pretty rad dude wrote that "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."



Perfect Love.



When I was four or five I sat with my mom at the top of our stairs next to a bookshelf that was covered in flowery macktack. She told me about Perfect Love, and that was the day I chose to believe in and live in Perfect Love. 
So I suppose this is my (less holly-wood-ized) way of crying out "freedom."  Freedom from fear, because there is no room for fear when one is filled with the love of God. The Perfect Love.

When I started this blog, it really was just another one of my grand ideas. I figured I'd become a mega-blogger and eventually be able to work from home so I could raise my kids and still contribute income. Not to mention I'd be doing what I love-- writing, creating, and connecting with new people! I'm not saying that dream is out of the picture, but for now I really want to use this blog as a way to push myself to live, not just without fear, but to live filled with God's Perfect Love.

Patients and Pretties

I just ordered my Christmas present from Daniel.... yes, from, and yes, Christmas! As it turned out, both Daniel and my sister-in-law Stephanie ordered me the EXACT same dress from Modcloth! The one they ordered is above, the "Meadow Relaxation Dress". It's absolutely lovely, and I have worn it a few times with cardigans and shirts underneath (it's still far too cold to wear it as-is).
   Obviously I had to send one of the packages back, and it just happened to be Daniels (I hadn't actually opened that package yet). Since then I have just been waiting for Modcloth to receive the return so I can order another dress. Finally it did-- just a few days ago-- and since I have been scrolling through the pages and pages of pretties on their site.  I finally made my decision today and am so excited since it was the last dress of it's kind, and just happened to be my size! Pretty pretty pretty, now I just need to be patient and wait the 7 to 21 days delivery!

Spring is in the air!

Although it snowed today (just a dusting), it was certainly feeling like Spring was starting stir from her wintery sleep. Daniel and I discovered this lovely little road that goes behind our yard. I hadn't walked down it before because I didn't realize the "road" continued past our neighbor's place, technically it does, it just happens to be totally grown over with grass, which makes for great walking, and a perfect place for Cheza to run around leash-less. The road also is the enterance to all the little fields behind our house, again, great for off leash running running. I have a feeling we'll be taking lots of little walks there in 2012.

A growing girl!

Just a couple photos of our little girl at the beginning of December. Such a sweet girl. Sadly she's much too big to fit on my purse now.

All-a-flutter

A few weeks ago I had the chance to go to Butterfly World, down island by Coombs. It was truly magical. I hadn't been there since I was in highschool, and it was the perfect rainy day adventure! I went with Daniel's mom -- Judy-- and youngest sister -- Kristianna--, and two of his mom's clients. Judy works with elderly men and women doing regular homecare, but she also does fun things with them like picnics, coffee dates, and, of course, Butterfly World trips!
It was a perfect opportunity to snap a few photos with our new 60mm lense.

This was one of my first photos. It was so warm and humid inside the building that my camera immediately fogged up... and stayed that way for about 20 minutes!


What can I say, I love water droplet photos!





I got so nostalgic when I saw these flowers growing. I don't know the name of them, but they are the same flowers that grow all along the roadsides in Kenya. The ones in Butterfly World were all a magenta pink color, but in Kenya they ranged in color from white to pinks to deep purple. It was such an unexpected gift to see these flowers.




Even though his heat lamp made for terrible lighting, I had to snap a picture of this big fella. The poor guy was trying to push and pull his way out of his box, but eventually wedged his shell between the two boards and just ended up hanging there for a little while until he fell down on his back. Not the most graceful position for a tortoise, let me assure you!

And "sew" it begins...

I am excited to announce that I am now taking an online sewing class! It has been something I have wanted to do for some time now. Although I know some of the basics of sewing, I still am rather intimidated by anything more than a straight stitch line, and patterns make me want to hide under my bed. Hopefully, this will help!



The course was developed by three very talented ladies, and takes you from sewing a simple drawstring bag, to drafting your own patterns, to sewing a fancy messenger bag and a tote-style purse. My plan is to document every step of my creative journey HERE, so keep checking back :)

Also, for anyone interested in starting this class as well, you can register here.

Bakery in the Bush

It’s been so long since I wrote on here, so I hope you devoted three readers haven’t given up on me yet!

At I type this, I am sitting on the edge on a little grassy bank at the edge of a river. With all the rain and melting snow, the river has risen a lot this year, and right in front of me is a poor little who has been half way drown since we moved our camp here nine days ago. I’m not sure what date it was, the tree planting calendar consists of five days: day one, day two, day three, day four, and day off. I can tell you we have been here for two days off, and that we are now on day three.

For those of you reading who may not know, I am presently living in a tree planting camp near Smithers working as the camp baker. It’s a bit of a family affair, as my mom is working as the camp cook, and my two youngest siblings, Alley and Zac, are here as well. It’s been really very fun working with my mom in the kitchen all day, and by “all day” I really do mean ALL day. Our days start at 5ish, as mom is supposed to be in at 5am and I am supposed to be in at 5:15am. I have to admit I have slept in til’ closer to 5:30 am the last few days… time to get my own alarm I think. Between about 3 and 5:30 pm we manage to get a break in, at least now that we are cooking for 45 rather than 80 like at the first camp. Those days were nearly 17 hours straight.

Dinner is at 7pm, and then we are usually doing clean up until around 9:30. Then there’s a bit of snuggle time with my fiancé, Daniel, and off to sleep. It’s repetitive in so many ways, but there is always the excitement of baking new things every day. I try my best to bake at least one exciting thing per day. Something I am looking forward to making, or something I haven’t tried before. Today it was some yummy granola bars (my first attempt), and a variation of the Morning Glory Muffin (a big hit around here) with apple and butterscotch chips and rum flavoring… I call them Candy Apple Muffins J. Every day I am expected to make a type of muffin, a type of cookie, a type of square, and the dessert for after supper. I also make the granola for the morning breakfasts and the fruit salad as well.

The routine for the planters is to have breakfast between 5:45am (actually usually the people who are in the kitchen that time are just getting their morning coffee to accompany their morning smoke) and 7. We have all of the stuff out for them in the mornings to make their lunches, that’s where all my baking goes. Then they are gone from 7am to 6:30 pm; long days for them too.

Hopefully I will be able to get some pictures up soon!

Love to all,

Jordan