Thursday, January 26, 2012

Fear not.

I've always been good at having good ideas. Often those good ideas develop into plans-- I draw a sketch, write a journal entry, jot it down on a calender. But then... nothing. The plans never take any sort of physical form. I always scolded myself for this, writing myself off as unmotivated, or just plain lazy! Other times I'd blame it on the depression with which I have struggled for a number of years. But the truth is, it's fear. It's all the negative "what if's" that surface right before that leap of faith. What if it doesn't work out? What if no one likes it? What if I fail?
The problems with living this way is that you are always disappointed in yourself, you become painfully indecisive, and you spend your life waiting for the day you become brave-- the day you finally let go of the fear!
I'm not going to make some cheesy statement here like "Today is that day!" and hold my fist up as I charge through a bunch of men in kilts yelling "FREEDOM!" ...rabbit trail... sorry.
Instead I want to remind myself and anyone reading who struggles with fear, that love is bigger than fear. In fact this pretty rad dude wrote that "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."

Perfect Love.

When I was four or five I sat with my mom at the top of our stairs next to a bookshelf that was covered in flowery macktack. She told me about Perfect Love, and that was the day I chose to believe in and live in Perfect Love. 
So I suppose this is my (less holly-wood-ized) way of crying out "freedom."  Freedom from fear, because there is no room for fear when one is filled with the love of God. The Perfect Love.

When I started this blog, it really was just another one of my grand ideas. I figured I'd become a mega-blogger and eventually be able to work from home so I could raise my kids and still contribute income. Not to mention I'd be doing what I love-- writing, creating, and connecting with new people! I'm not saying that dream is out of the picture, but for now I really want to use this blog as a way to push myself to live, not just without fear, but to live filled with God's Perfect Love.

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